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Archive for February, 2014

Nancy’s Story: Ah, Winter

Ah winter, you gotta love it. The truth is I actually do. Even this winter, especially this winter. I love the changes of the seasons here in Pennsylvania. When I got sicker and we realized that we had to move from our house with the big gardens, we looked into moving to North Carolina or even Georgia or Florida. In the end we stayed here. I’m not sorry. Our families are here, and my doctors, our friends.

Last month Ellen and I went to a Reiki share at Gilda’s club. It was the second time I had participated. Since I knew what to expect I was more relaxed. After the session, one of the instructors asked if I wanted to hear her impressions. She said she saw me writing down my thoughts and suggested that I start a journal. I smiled and to her surprise, or maybe not, I told her I write a blog for Gilda’s club and enjoyed sharing my thoughts rather than keeping them to myself.

Cancer is a strange beast. At least the kind I have. I did not lose my hair or have radiation burns from my treatment. Sometimes, when I’m having a good day, I forget I am sick with it until something happens like nausea or fatigue. One thing is I have no trouble going to sleep at night. I close my eyes and turn off my brain. No rehashing the day with what ifs or should haves. The morning is different. I wake at six am and lay there thinking about the day coming on. I stretch my limbs and plan what I will wear, who I will see, and who I will reach out to. We are down to one car now, so I plan my work schedule and shopping and doctor visits around my husband’s day. So far it has worked well.

Our husbands will go to the men’s breakfast this Saturday. They seem to enjoy the time with each other and the other men of Gilda’s. Ellen and I will try, again, to attend the Women Sharing Wisdom with Pam Ginsberg next Thursday. Because of the holidays and the bad weather we have not gotten together since October and I miss the group. If you haven’t thought about it, think about joining us.

Don’t get me wrong. Just like everyone else, I am looking forward to spring. If I was still at our other house I would be pouring over my seed catalogs. I don’t want to rush time. In early March I will go to Philadelphia for my scans to see if the lower dose of Pazopanib is working on the tumors. We will also decide if I will stay on it and at what dose. But for now I will get ready for the next snow.

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